Sunday, September 17, 2006
-GOD doesn't owe you a good life......-
GOD doesn't owe you a good life...... i heard this in church today...... how very true...... while i definitely ain't the most devoted or pious of individuals, sunday church has always been important for me...... why? because it leaves me time to myself...... time to think, to reflect while the people around me are too busy singing to take notice of my glazed distracted look...... however, the only time i pay attention in church is when the priest speaks about life...... no matter how boring and monotonous the priest can be, every word can sink in...... and that was what he said today...... GOD doesn't owe you a good life...... the truth hurts...... no matter how i blame everything on life, the truth is that we have to work for everything...... including happiness...... yeah somebody up there is trying to send me a message...... despite how i previously thought everyone was fine and being happy, i was proven wrong again...... dad and mum quarelled again...... i realised something...... couples who work together do not have the ability to draw a line between personal matters and work...... they absolutely do not despite how they say they do...... and so when they do quarrel and do lame childish things like refusing to talk to each other, what happens is that i have to be the messenger to help them communicate and after they get to understand each other, i have to be the clown who has to break the stale mood and after that what happens? i get screwed again for doing things that he reckons i shouldn't do...... and yeah i'm constantly doing these things...... not that i mind though, it's my family that i'm talking about...... but sometimes when i ain't feeling that good myself, doing these things wear me thin...... like im being stretched myself and on the verge of breaking and that i still have to deal with these things, to try and be patient and explain to them what the other party wants and after they are clear about each other's demands, having to crack a dumb joke or comment to liven up the mood when what i really feel like doing is to shout at somebody and something...... i mean, what the bloody hell am i doing? they're great parents, no doubt about that...... but some things you don't tell your parents...... yeah things like how the girl you like doesn't like you...... yeah...... at least in my case, i can't...... lucky those of you who can...... they have much more experience and can tell you what to do much better than any friend...... but sometimes, you just wear thin...... and it feels like im going to find a hole in myself soon...... like a wrongly flipped prata by a lousy prata maker......
| wish i was dead @ 4:12 AM|
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